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The rest of you won’t be bored, I promise. Okay, new guys: here’s what is going to happen. Today is going to be boring. You are gonna learn to move and operate in groups. When the shit hits the fan there is rarely any time for a meeting or even a huddle, so you have to determine your role in a group real quick and be able to communicate with hand signals. Most of ‘em are really easy. What’s this?”She raised her left fist.“Stop?” said Ali. I’d have guessed that, too.“Kinda. It’s actually ‘freeze’. You saw this in a movie, right? This is stop:”She showed us the palm of her hand.“This is: I understand.”Her thumb and index finger touched.“So don’t give a thumbs up for that. Carstairs?”“Should we be taking notes?”“No. You should pay attention. Now, let’s review what happened in the corridor just then. All but one of you did the WRONG thing. Let’s start with you, Carstairs. You tried to hit me. I had a gun to your face and you tried to hit me. Unless you’re some ninja warrior that I don’t. "I'm so sorry, but I'm having a panic attack. So embarrassing," I explained through my tears."No reason to be embarrassed. I've seen it before," she kindly said with merciful understanding. "I'm even prepared for it," she added, handing me a paper bag."Thank you so much." I took it, held it to my mouth and began throwing up, like an alky in a drunk tank.The dreadful retching certainly caught her attention. Alarmed, she yelped, "You silly girl, you were supposed to breathe into it to help your hyperventilating, but I don't suggest you do that now. Perhaps brushing your teeth a few dozen times might be in order." After vigorously brushing and feeling refreshed, I walked about her flat, commenting on the shackles attached to her wall."It's a little hobby of mine. Some even call me Ms. Dungeon," she informed with a maniacal smile, eerily similar to the Joker."Ms. Dungeon? Are you one of those D & D nerds?"I'm more D & S, you might say," she giggled as if to some inside joke. "But don't.
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